Do you worry about postpartum depression issues related to giving the baby up? Or do you feel like the overwhelming sense of doing something awesome for someone will compensate?
In a few words, No and Yes.
That being said, I'm not going into this with unrealistic expectations. Right now I feel like I won't have much problem delivering a baby and having it go straight into the arms of it's mother. But when that time comes and my hormones are shifting and surging I'm almost sure I will have some sense of loss. That is why I am trying to prepare myself for that even when I don't feel that way right now. Just thinking about how joyful the moment will be when my IP's physically have their baby in their arms reminds me why I'm doing this and makes me so happy that I'm able to do this for them. There are some women out there who are Traditional Surrogates, meaning the baby they carry is biologically their own (they use artificial insemination) and that I know I could never do. I would never be able to give up a baby that is mine. It takes a very special person to do that, and many families have been helped by them.
Joe and I have talked about planning some sort of vacation after I deliver so that I will have something to look forward to. The timing will have to be just right, though, because he'll be in school, as will the boys. I'd love to be able to just get away with Joe and go somewhere we've never been before. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I'd like this trip to be as stress-free as possible! :) So, hopefully we'll be able to work something out around our schedules.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Q&A #2
Do you feel like the Intended Mother may deal with jealousy issues due to you being able to get pregnant so easily? In the end she is receiving the "reward", but do you think she will have a hard time seeing you pregnant knowing that she won't ever experience that?
This is a difficult question to answer because I am not her and will never be in her position. I can totally understand any jealous feelings she would have because I know how much I have enjoyed my pregnancies and if I had not been able to experience this I would feel like something major was missing from my life. However, as we all know, sometimes in life we have to make difficult decisions and I'm sure my IP's have made many to get to the point where we are right now. I know that if I were in her position I would probably do everything in my power to have a child as well. I know this though, God has plan for every life, including the way it is brought here to this world. I also believe that God has a way of protecting us even when we don't realize it. Like those times when you get angry for getting stopped by a red light, only to drive 2 minutes down the road and pass a horrible accident. You can only wonder, "Would that have been me?"
And in our situation, I think they have chosen to see that the pros (having their own biological child) outweigh the cons (not being able to experience carrying and delivering a baby.) I hope that I've made them feel like I am available to them anytime, because I want them to be involved in every single bit of this journey. I know that I'm doing this as a service to them, but how can I not feel honored and blessed to be part of such an incredible journey. This is their show, I'm just a supporting actress.
This is a difficult question to answer because I am not her and will never be in her position. I can totally understand any jealous feelings she would have because I know how much I have enjoyed my pregnancies and if I had not been able to experience this I would feel like something major was missing from my life. However, as we all know, sometimes in life we have to make difficult decisions and I'm sure my IP's have made many to get to the point where we are right now. I know that if I were in her position I would probably do everything in my power to have a child as well. I know this though, God has plan for every life, including the way it is brought here to this world. I also believe that God has a way of protecting us even when we don't realize it. Like those times when you get angry for getting stopped by a red light, only to drive 2 minutes down the road and pass a horrible accident. You can only wonder, "Would that have been me?"
And in our situation, I think they have chosen to see that the pros (having their own biological child) outweigh the cons (not being able to experience carrying and delivering a baby.) I hope that I've made them feel like I am available to them anytime, because I want them to be involved in every single bit of this journey. I know that I'm doing this as a service to them, but how can I not feel honored and blessed to be part of such an incredible journey. This is their show, I'm just a supporting actress.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Q&A #1
So I'm going to do some Q&A sessions here and at my husband's suggestion I'm going to answer one question per post...just to keep you all coming back for more! ;) (And so my posts aren't forever long!)
How are you preparing your kids for this and will you get to see the baby after it is born?
Joe and I have 3 kids. John is 5, Alex is 3, and Grace is 1. We've told all of them that mommy is going to have a baby, but the baby isn't mommy's baby and she's not going to be bringing it home after it is born (Thank God! lol) John is old enough to understand that I can have a baby for someone else, but young enough to not ask too many questions about how it all works. Alex just simply accepts it all as fact and goes on about his day. And Grace, well she's too young to think about anyone but herself and probably won't realize much happened. All in all, though, we're being completely honest about the whole experience with them. They haven't met the IP's yet, but they will at some point along the way.
As for seeing the baby after it's born, I'll be able to see it, but I want to give the parents as much privacy as possible. I know they aren't going to just cut me off after the baby is born. Ideally, I'd like see pictures every once in awhile and maybe get together occasionally. I'm totally open to whatever they choose. We have a really good relationship so far.
How are you preparing your kids for this and will you get to see the baby after it is born?
Joe and I have 3 kids. John is 5, Alex is 3, and Grace is 1. We've told all of them that mommy is going to have a baby, but the baby isn't mommy's baby and she's not going to be bringing it home after it is born (Thank God! lol) John is old enough to understand that I can have a baby for someone else, but young enough to not ask too many questions about how it all works. Alex just simply accepts it all as fact and goes on about his day. And Grace, well she's too young to think about anyone but herself and probably won't realize much happened. All in all, though, we're being completely honest about the whole experience with them. They haven't met the IP's yet, but they will at some point along the way.
As for seeing the baby after it's born, I'll be able to see it, but I want to give the parents as much privacy as possible. I know they aren't going to just cut me off after the baby is born. Ideally, I'd like see pictures every once in awhile and maybe get together occasionally. I'm totally open to whatever they choose. We have a really good relationship so far.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Ultrasound Results Are In...
We officially have ONE healthy little baby growing! Everything looked really good and the baby had a heartbeat of 138, which is perfect. It's supposed to be anywhere between 120 and 160. Now that we've established that everything is progressing as expected, I get to switch to my regular Ob/Gyn (Whom I love and can't say enough good things about!) for the rest of my prenatal care.
This is such an exciting time. With all of my pregnancies I have lived for that next appointment and couldn't wait to hear that heartbeat on the Doppler. This one will be just as exciting, yet different of course, but in a good way. Because this is my 4th pregnancy (in 5 1/2 years, no less) it almost feels like I'm just getting back in the saddle and I have to remind myself what an exciting and new experience most of this is for my IP's. I remember when I was pregnant with John (my oldest) and loving every single step along the way and having the excitement and anticipation of what was to come. Not that I didn't have that with Alex and Grace, but when you already have little ones at home to keep you busy you just don't get to enjoy it like you do with the first.
Thank you all for your prayers that have gotten us to this point. Please continue to pray that this pregnancy goes smoothly and without complication. Children are a gift from the Lord and I'm so blessed to be a special part of that for two wonderful people.
This is such an exciting time. With all of my pregnancies I have lived for that next appointment and couldn't wait to hear that heartbeat on the Doppler. This one will be just as exciting, yet different of course, but in a good way. Because this is my 4th pregnancy (in 5 1/2 years, no less) it almost feels like I'm just getting back in the saddle and I have to remind myself what an exciting and new experience most of this is for my IP's. I remember when I was pregnant with John (my oldest) and loving every single step along the way and having the excitement and anticipation of what was to come. Not that I didn't have that with Alex and Grace, but when you already have little ones at home to keep you busy you just don't get to enjoy it like you do with the first.
Thank you all for your prayers that have gotten us to this point. Please continue to pray that this pregnancy goes smoothly and without complication. Children are a gift from the Lord and I'm so blessed to be a special part of that for two wonderful people.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
I had a dream last night...
I had a dream last night that I had an ultrasound and it showed we were having twins! Weird thing about the dream was that the ultrasound was done by Dr. Arias who was a maternal fetal medicine doctor at The Toledo Hospital (where I work) and passed away several years ago. Don't know why I would've dreamt that because I never saw him as a patient and really didn't work with him that much either. Hmmmm...
All I know is, I sure can't wait until February 15th to find out!!! I'll be sure to keep everyone updated.
All I know is, I sure can't wait until February 15th to find out!!! I'll be sure to keep everyone updated.
Friday, February 4, 2011
The 2 Week Wait
So, after the embryos were transferred we had to wait 2 weeks from the day of the egg retrieval to find out if I was actually pregnant. Of course, this time drags on very slowly. I took several cheap (dollar store-cheap) home tests that were all negative, but I was expecting that. It just satisfied my need to check just in case it came up positive. However, the day before I was to have my blood drawn for a beta HCG (an early pregnancy hormone) I had the chance to buy a First Response Early Result pregnancy test and just couldn't resist. And lo and behold...it was positive! I was so excited and immediately took a picture of it on my phone and sent it to my IM. We were both thrilled and I was so happy to share that news with her.
The next day (Wednesday January 26th) I had my blood drawn, and even though I had taken the home test, I was still anxious. It came back with a result of 205. >5 is pregnant, so I was more than a little bit pregnant ;). Ideally the number doubles every 48-72 hours, so I had it drawn again on Friday and the result was 481. So, it more than doubled! This was very reassuring.
So, that's where we are right now. I'm pregnant, but we don't know yet if it's one baby or two... :P
I have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday February 15th. That's still a week and half away!!! This waiting period is even worse, I think. Part of me just knew that the transfer would work. I mean, why wouldn't it have? I got pregnant without trying twice (Hello Alex and Grace!) and this time was very calculated and planned out. But, since we put TWO embryos in there...well, you never know. Both embryos implanting happens quite frequently, especially since our embryos weren't frozen and were such good quality. So, my IP's could quite possibly be doubly blessed!
The next day (Wednesday January 26th) I had my blood drawn, and even though I had taken the home test, I was still anxious. It came back with a result of 205. >5 is pregnant, so I was more than a little bit pregnant ;). Ideally the number doubles every 48-72 hours, so I had it drawn again on Friday and the result was 481. So, it more than doubled! This was very reassuring.
So, that's where we are right now. I'm pregnant, but we don't know yet if it's one baby or two... :P
I have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday February 15th. That's still a week and half away!!! This waiting period is even worse, I think. Part of me just knew that the transfer would work. I mean, why wouldn't it have? I got pregnant without trying twice (Hello Alex and Grace!) and this time was very calculated and planned out. But, since we put TWO embryos in there...well, you never know. Both embryos implanting happens quite frequently, especially since our embryos weren't frozen and were such good quality. So, my IP's could quite possibly be doubly blessed!
Getting you caught up
Ok, so it's been awhile...a long while. I promise I'm going to do better. My last post I talked about how I wanted to be a surrogate (more accurately, a gestational carrier.) We got everything settled with RAI and in October we were matched with a great (more like AWESOME!) set of Intended Parents (IP's). Everything has been almost surreal since then. I met with their reproductive endocrinologist in early November and started the preparation necessary to carry a baby. On Wednesday January 12th they retrieved the Intended Mother's (IM's) eggs and mixed 'em up with the Intended Father's (IF's) sperm and made some really good embryos. 3 days later, on January 15th, two of the best embryo's were transferred into my uterus. The whole process for me was very easy and painless (other than having a full bladder with an ultrasound head being mashed into it.) My IM had it the worst; from what I've heard egg retrieval is not a very fun procedure. Google it and you'll get the idea. So, after the embryo transfer the waiting game began...
Here is a picture of two 8 cell embryos (this is not the actual picture of ours, just one I found online, but you get the idea.)
Here is a picture of two 8 cell embryos (this is not the actual picture of ours, just one I found online, but you get the idea.)
It's amazing to me that we all start this way (smaller, actually, and from two separate single cells!) God is so amazing! I am so excited and honored to be a part of this journey.
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