The Fourth Trimester

So, how am I feeling now, you may wonder? Well, I can break it down in two categories. The physical and the emotional.

Physically, my body bounced back pretty quickly. Which is what usually happens after I have a baby. I spent the first week and a half just hanging out on the couch as much as possible. The swelling in my legs and feet was pretty uncomfortable at times. The phlebitis in my leg was pretty ouchy until the swelling went away. My abdominal incision actually didn't feel too bad. The worst part of the whole thing was my left shoulder. What started out as a pinchy, annoying pain turned into sharp zingers anytime I moved my head or arm. What the heck? Why did my shoulder hurt so bad, when nothing had been done to it? Ah, but something had...
About 4 weeks after my surgery I recalled that one of the nurses told me she was trying to get my wedding ring off during surgery and I was fighting her. All pullin' my arm back like I didn't want that thing taken off my hand. Since I was still under general anesthesia, I'm sure I was pulling with all my might and pulled a muscle along my neck which then compressed a nerve in that area. The pain peaked around two weeks after surgery when it literally had me in tears anytime I tried to lay back in bed or reach my arms up. I ended up getting a massage and having a friend of mine that is a DO adjust my neck and back. That helped tremendously! Now, it barely bothers me at all.

Emotionally, everything with the delivery and going home without a baby went ex.act.ly like I hoped it would. While I was still in the hospital I got to visit with Sarah, Brian, and the baby. My kids got to meet him also. Everything felt like it was just how it was supposed to be. Sarah and Brian had their baby boy in their arms and couldn't have been happier. Now that I'm several weeks postpartum, I still feel great about the whole experience. Never once have I felt sad about not having a baby to care for. To be honest, and I don't mean for this to sound bad, at times I'm really kind of glad! Which, if you look back at the whole reason why I wanted to be a surrogate, I suppose that would be a good thing. : )  I've gotten to visit Gianluca a couple times in the last few weeks and that has been nice also. Plus, I am pumping breastmilk for him (that's a whole separate post to come), so I'm still serving a purpose in his life. I think the fact that I haven't just been cut off from them has helped with the emotional aspect.  I really do feel like I've made new friends through this process.